The Wishlist Issue

I loooove seeing people's wishlists. What does someone yearn for? Covet? What's on their feasible wishlist where they track the things they might actually acquire at some point soon vs what's on their super crazy farfetched win-the-lottery wishlist?

I love what it tells me about how a person sees themselves and who they hope to be. I find myself inspired, often, and surprised by what someone has fixated on. I want them to have it! I want them to use it and get to see how they make it their own! There's a voyeuristic quality to peeking into someone's wishlist, it's revealing and also -- at its best -- a little vulnerable. Like reading someone's diary.

The wishlist can also be a really useful tool for deferring consumption. It makes it easier to stop yourself from making an impulse buy when you can, instead, plop the link in a safe place like a note or folder and come back to it later and see if you still even want that thing. I personally don't keep an actual concrete wishlist in one place because I want to create extra friction between me and any purchase since I truly don't NEED anything. Plus, with how much time I spend looking at clothes online it's not worth trying to keep track of the 100 things a day I find myself coveting. But I have found that using the "favorites" or "heart" feature on sites like The RealReal, eBay, Depop, Poshmark, etc acts as a little release of tension for me and helps me move on from something I'm looking at because I know it's saving a little wishlist for me somewhere (even though all those same apps have built-in notifications that try to lure you back to purchase your saved items...but I'm pretty good at ignoring those). Even if I never look at it again. At their best, wishlists let us percolate, and separate fleeting desire from true need/want.

In fact, it's a large part of how I shape my job as a stylist. We take a peek in your closet and try to identify your most concise, practical, authentic style "wishlist. "

But the wishlist has also been totally co-opted, in my opinion. In the age of social media and Substack, it seems that almost everything we do comes with a shoppable wishlist. The most popular and successful newsletters tend to be ones pushing lists of things to buy into your inbox every week -- both because the creator earns a commission and because we genuinely don't seem to know how to engage with society, style, art, etc in any other way but through buying stuff. A new wishlist every week fuels and is fueled by this sinister notion that we should be on an endless conveyor belt of covetous longing and buying. Where would all these things go? Who are they for? Do you REALLY want all these things?!?! It feels empty.

So I turn to people who I think are doing it well, doing it with heart. The first that comes to mind is Natalie Brennan's wonderful substack called ISO (that's short for "In Search Of" for anyone unfamiliar with the term found all over resale sites from posters looking for something they can't find). Natalie is the co-host and producer of one of my favorite podcasts "Covered" and she describes her newsletter as being "about the articles of clothing that have burned themselves into my brain. I am In Search Of them or perhaps just caught in the yearning industrial complex." What I love about ISO is that each newsletter focuses on one thing. It's not a wishLIST as much as a wishLETTER and that, by nature, requires deep consideration. Why has this item caught her eye? Is it actually attainable for her (like the Maryam Nasser Zadeh Kiki Boot) or is it a museum-worthy collectors item that has sent her down a rabbit hole of love, grief, and friendship (like the Elsa Peretti Heart Belt). I rarely come away from reading ISO thinking "OH BOY I NEED THAT TOO!" as much as I feel grateful for the intimate peek inside of Natalie's thought process, and find myself interrogating my own personal narratives and how they intertwine with the items I yearn for.

Another wishlist-er I love is, to no one's surprise, my girl Alberta Rose! Now, you guys know Alberta is also one of my nearest and dearest, but I think the way she uses her substack Taking Style Personally to talk about trends and yearnings while rarely making it about any specific THING she wants to buy is an art. Instead of telling you she wants XYZ from YadaYada Brand and giving you a link, she's sharing textures, tones, palettes, prints, and shapes. Ideas for how she might mend or DIY things she already has, qualities she's gonna keep an eye out for at the thrift store, and even feelings and experiences she's got on her wishlist. It allows you to engage with her yearnings as an approach more than an item.

With all that in mind, I thought it would be fun to share a few items floating around my personal, unofficial wishlists past and present and talk about how realistic they are for me to ever get, how I think about what it'd take for me to purchase, and why I want them.

First, something I already found: A PLEATED SKIRT.

To be fair, I already owned a few pleated skirts when this strong desire solidified, but none were really right. I owned a few above-the-knee pleated skirts and one plaid accordion-pleated midi skirt that has always fit a little off, but I reeeeally wanted an almost "matronly" midi-length, top-stitched knife-pleated wool skirt in a neutral color. Ideally grey, black, or navy. Vintage pleated skirts ABOUND online and in thrift stores and I searched for months and months and months but nothing was quite right. Wrong pleats, wrong color, wrong fabric. Finally, last November my one "Black Friday" purchase was a grey wool blend topstitch knife pleated midi skirt (pictured left). I think it is ~nearly~ perfect but it has this intentionally asymmetrical topstitching that I think makes the pleats open in a wonky way. I may take it to the tailor to have them line all the topstitching up so it's even. But, as you guys may recall from last year's Margiela Tabi saga, I've found that when I search for something for a long time to no avail and finally find it...when it rains it pours! I don't know if it's because, in all that time waiting, I've really honed with total clarity what I'm looking for, or it's some other cosmic shit.

But a little over a month after I found that grey skirt last November, I was at Berriez in NYC and found a perfect mid-rise pleated knee length navy skirt (middle). It was an unusual length I didn't already own in a color I didn't already own, super well priced ($32?!) from a store I love supporting. A no-brainer purchased alongside the pierced cropped upcycled blazer (also pictured) that were the only two purchases I made during my month in NYC in January. Then, after a few weeks home in LA I was visiting one of my favorite local boutiques called Noodle Stories. Noodles is a store I take clients to often for special occasion pieces, their selection is incredible but very pricey so in the years and years I've worked with them I'd never bought anything for myself. It happened to be their biannual sale and, what do you know, they had one Comme des Garçons black wool pleated skirt left, and it happened to be the one I'd been admiring on their racks for over 6 months, on steep sale and in my size. The quality of this CDG skirt is next-level. Just stunning, the way it moves is like liquid but it's gorgeous wool with a velvet trim. The pleats are perfect. The only thing is it has an elastic waistband which does make the top a little bulkier and less crisp than I'd originally wanted but also means it's super comfortable and size flexible! This one felt silly to me -- I had JUST purchased two pleated skirts very recently. I actually called Brendan just to talk through the thought process. CDG is one of my favorite designers, it's a store I love a lot, it's a classic and super versatile piece that I could wear into my 90s. It felt a little ridiculous, but I pulled the trigger and decided to get it. I've worn it a TON, zero regrets. Ironically the one that I've worn the least is the grey one because I haven't solved the uneven pleat topstitch issue so I reach for it less than the others.

A GENERAL WISHLIST ITEM: A bolo tie

I think it's interesting to separate out how I conceive of wishlist items between generalized items vs specific items. As in, is it a type of thing that could be from anywhere or is it a specific item from a specific brand that couldn't be anything but that exact thing? A bolo tie is a general item. One that has floated around my wishlist for years but never felt particularly urgent, like something I'd snag if/when it presented itself to me in a vintage store at the right moment. But last week I got invited to a Pulp Fiction party and decided to go dressed as John Travolta and found myself so bummed I'd never found the right bolo. This sent me on an online vintage hunt where I found SOoOOooo many cool vintage bolo ties. The search also helped me hone in on the details of what I wanted. Something substantial, made ideally of leather and sterling (vs one of the cloth/nylon ties), playful or abstract without being overly kitschy, and on the simpler side as far as design elements.

This is something I'm very likely to actually purchase in the next month or so. Not immediately, I'm gonna sit on it. But the prices are all very reasonable, they're very abundant second-hand and vintage, and they fit in my 2025 goal of focusing a bit more on small accessories vs cloth garments. I also already own a LOT of button-down shirts which makes the question of "how would I style this?" an easy one to answer. I loooove the idea of styling a bolo with "office attire" -- even with one of the pleated skirts above and a crisp button down! That juxtaposition speaks to me.

A SPECIFIC WISHLIST ITEM: Simone Rocha Sheer Black Floral Jacket

This jacket caught my eye years ago when I saw it on a resale site but it didn't really register as worth trying before it sold to someone else. I've always loved the shape and texture of it, the mix of sexy sheerness and coy structure, and I am a huge Simone Rocha fan. But again, not urgent. Until, that is, I visited the Simone Rocha store in January and tried on a black, flowerless version of it in-person and realized how impeccably it was cut. It was on sale in store and still reallyyyyyy expensive, plus they only had a size 4 left and it was way too small on me. But it captivated me. It felt like something that could be very versatile and also given that LA is so hot, it's nice to have jacket-like pieces that won't make you too warm. I had just been given a gift card to The RealReal and decided that, if possible, I'd spend it on this jacket the next time it came up. Alas, my size has not come up anywhere (though I've seen a few more that are too small pop up) and the jacket is hard to find because it's several seasons old. I have a feeling this is going to be on my wishlist for a while before it comes up in my size, if ever....

PIE-IN-THE-SKY WISHLIST ITEM: Bulgari Serpenti Viper Necklace

If you're not familiar, the high-end Italian jewelry designer Bulgari (usually stylized Bvlgari) is very famous for its use of snakes in its jewelry. Nearly 80 years ago the designer introduced the Serpenti watch (pictured below, right) which was an innovative, jewelry-esque watch that wrapped around the wrist multiple times like a snake. From there, the serpent theme has been carried through pretty much every form of accessory they make, perhaps most notably the serpenti viper necklace. I'm obsessed with it. Something about me? I love snakes. I have multiple snake tattoos, snake jewelry, we had snakes growing up and used to catch them. I am a snake fan!

I LOVE this necklace. It has many iterations and not all of them are equally appealing, but I just think it's absolutely stunning. I love the way it sits slightly asymmetrically with the natural drape, I love the various ways it can be wrapped (depending on length), I love that it's edgy and opulent. I love it worn backwards (top left) or layered in multiple directions (J. Lo). It's a work of art, I bet it feels really nice to wear. It's annoying because it is also very much a status symbol due to how iconic it is, and that feels obnoxious, like carrying a Birkin. It makes me want to be like "no but I just actually think it's so pretty!!! I don't care who makes it or who knows!" But here's the thing, this necklace is EXPENSIVE. On the very low end for a skinny little short guy with no diamonds it's $13k (and what's the fun in a skinny little short snake with no diamonds?!) and from there they can VERY quickly get well over $100,000. The vast majority of celebrities you see wearing them on the red carpet do not own them either and are just borrowing them for an event. This is not a practical piece to own. Even if I had the money it would be a really really foolish thing to spend it on. I also wouldn't ever want to buy a knock off (there are plenty) because a major part of what makes a serpenti piece special is the master craftsmanship that goes into making a piece of jewelry like this. I quite simply will never own this wishlist item unless someone bequeaths one to me which is pretty impossible because I don't know anyone who owns one. But maybe one day I'll get a chance to briefly try one on at Saks or something if I ask nicely and dress fancy?!? Anyway, I thought it might be interesting to know what my most ridiculous never-gonna-happen wishlist item is and what it says about me!

What's your relationship with wish lists? Do you have one? What's on it?

Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading! And as always, if you’d like to book a one-on-one styling session with me for anything from your everyday wardrobe to wedding or event styling, you can book directly with me.